Santana's broken heart
by BrokenWishes95
Summary: Santana's inner monologue on how she feels about Brittany. My first fanfic please be kind. Read and review


**A:N: I do not own Glee or its characters, this is my first fanfiction so please be kind :)**

As I walked down the corridor, everyone stared because the news of my sexuality was finally out, just as Brittany's and Rachel's were. That Reggie 'The Sauce' Salazar made a commercial to fight Sue in the State Congress race. The commercial changed my life. I got nothing but evil looks for everyone, someone even shouted

'Hey Santana, want me to turn you straight!' I was so angry that everyone knew. I went up to him and said,

'Hey douche bag, why any girl would even agree to have sex with you I have no idea, but if you shout an offer like that again, I will break something. It will most likely be one of your nuts, left or right. It's your choice, now get out my grill, afores I ends you.' So scared by my anger, he walked away pretty fast. It made me happy to finally insult someone. It's been a while.

I was more ashamed of coming out earlier because of the talks and the looks. Even though I waited, I still get the grief. No one knew of my love Brittany and I still don't want anyone to find out. Brittany and Rachel have been going out for over a year, and me being the bitch, told everyone to back off. I only did it because I love Brittany and people noticed this. I and Rachel have argued a lot when they were together, I was always too close to her, and always texting her and this made her very jealous. I encouraged Brittany to split up with her, so she could see how good I would be as her girlfriend. Although we are best friends, she didn't know at the time, of my sexuality. I didn't want to break our near perfect friendship. In our four years of friendship since being on the Cheerio's, we've only ever argued once. And that was because of Rachel.

When she text me saying 'I've got something to tell you', my heart started racing so fast. I was making up scenarios in my head for if she said 'I am in love with you'. I was sat downstairs in my Cheerio's outfit, beginning to shake, when she said 'I've been in love with someone for a while and its time I told you who it was.' I had to go upstairs before my parents noticed that I was so happy, they would have asked why. I had no reason to be happy at this moment; all I begged for is that she would say I'm in love with you. 'Well who is it?' I said with a happy face on the end. It seemed to take for ever for her to write back, but my heart still broke when I saw it. 'I'm in love with Quinn.'

It looked as if my plan had backfired on me. I ran to my bed, I couldn't text her back. In glee Club next day, I sat on my own far away from anyone. I didn't want to come to school but I had no choice. When I didn't text Brittany back, she put 'Are you okay? Please don't tell anyone.' I replied, by hiding my broken heart. All I could say is that 'I won't tell anyone, But isn't she straight?' I could tell with the next text that she was heartbroken as well because she is straight.

The assignment for the week was to sing love songs. This put me in an extremely bad mood. Brittany could sense my anger and gave me concerned looks every couple of minutes. Whenever I looked at her, she was staring at Quinn who was sat giggling with Puck. I had mixed emotions at that moment when it came to Brittany. I felt anger and sorrow, anger for not loving me and sorrow for her. I could see the pain in her eyes. It was breaking her heart.

Although I felt like singing 'Love Stinks' to Brittany for loving Quinn, my true feelings were 'Make You Feel My Love'. I would never have the strength to sing that to her. Although I may always seem like a bitch on the outside and always on top of everything, but on the inside, I'm so confused about my feelings for Puck and Brittany. If it was a choice between the two, I would always pick Brittany, she's my best friend. I'm in love with my best friend and she doesn't even know it. Brittany always seems to be happy and when she comes out of lesson, I always meet her and she loves to tell me about them. I mainly nod along and smile, but when it comes to the subject of Quinn, my heart breaks every time.

I realised that I was at least bi-sexual when Brittany first came out. When Brittany came out, I was going to tell her then, but then bitch face (Rachel) came along and said she was bi-sexual too and before you know it, they were in a relationship. Me and Brittany were walking home a couple of days after she told me her secret, at this point I was acting stupid and giggling at everything so it came as a complete shock when she came out with 'I have feelings for someone.' I felt my heart pumping in my chest. I was hoping to god it was for me. I started asking questions such as 'Do I know them? Am I friends with them' she looked at me with her eyes wide open, her big beautiful eyes staring right into me. She just nodded; I didn't know what to do. Was she into me or someone else? I decided just to say all of the names of the glee girls, seen as we were kind of friends. As soon as I named Rachel, she looked away. My heart like it was being ripped out of my chest without warning. She had feelings for a self-centred, know it all bitch, I wanted to ask why, but I decided against it. As soon as she confessed what she felt, she asked me for advice on what to do, I told her to go with her heart, as I tried to do most of the time. In all honesty, I didn't know what she should do because at the time, she had a boyfriend. In my eyes, they were the perfect, cute couple because Rachel was so bossy and Finn was just gullible.

Only time will tell if I will get what I need and if Brittany gets what she wants.


End file.
